Dreams and Things

I am among the students at the University of California at Berkeley. It is nighttime and we are grouped to prepare a concert, The concert is to take place on two adjacent hills, We are are on a freshly cut lawn in front of the two hills. The are area lights around us the illuminate the table and gentle spot lights upon the hills. The table are hot tables. In other words, tables designed to keep food warm by the use of hot water under whic pans of food are kept, The food will be served cafeteria style. This all in preparation for a concert. The concert begins and is mostly for young men. The bands play rock and roll of the type popular for that particular audience. The students gobble up the food which consists of mostly meat dishes—roast beef, chicken and pork served up in various sauces, The roast beef is cut straight off the bone. Not a lot of vegetable dishes are served. Green bean casserle is there and more less chosen for by some. The concert is success, I am every pleased wit...

I'm bored. I spent a lot of time working on my art in the studio. In fact, I went in at around two PM and by the time I checked the time I was surprised to see that it was seven. I hurried into the kitchen to clean it up and prepare the coffee for tomorrow. I returned to the the studio afterward. I'm working on two projects at once. One is a piece of styrofoam which I have painted black. I made several, quite a few actually, indentations in it using duck cement which dissolves styrofoam. I've painted the interior of the holes with gold paint. It's impressive in my opinion. I'm going to call it "Crude Oil." The idea is that the black surface represents crude oil and the holes within it the gold how oil controls our society. My original conception had been to glue toy soldered to it, one army facing the other. The soldiers would have represented the wars that fight over and because of oil. But looking at it now I think I am going to forego the toy sold...

It's been a while it seems since I wrote in my diary. It's Sunday and I was supposed to go to the North Beach festival with my brother. But he over-slept and calling me at around two apologized and said he would only go to the fair if I wanted to. I told him I was babysitting my wife emotionally and could not go out. That was fine with him. There will be other fairs in the city. I went over to see my wife who is, once again, staying with her mother. Whenever there's a problem she just takes off. I don't even remember what this was all about. I think it was the standard theme of ,"You don't take care of me like I do you." She has had problems with her equilibrium and I guess I wasn't attentive enough or forgot something or whiter-the-fuck-it-was and so off she went. No, wait a minute. She had asked me earlier if I could help her with her shower. I must have forgotten this when she called me the first time. When she asked me, some days ago it now s...

I went with my wife and her mother to shop at Serramonte today. My wife was not insistent on me going but something in the tone of her voice made me feel as if it would please her if I went along. I really did not want to come along. But I acquiesced as usual and dressed up for the day's activities. It's a good thing for her 87 year old mother to get out of her apartment from time to time. She's boxed up in there without any social life to speak of. When she get our, she uses a motorized wheelchair called a "Go-Go" to get around when we are out. So my wife and I assembled it in the parking lot at Serramonte and away we went. My wife likes to shop at XXI. I hate hanging around while she rifles trough racks upon racks of clothes. So we decided to part ways and touch base by telephone when we were ready to all come together. Her mother had already whirled away in her Go-Go. I wandered up and down the rows upon rows of stores and little shops. I came upon a je...

I attended the ceremonies surrounding the graduation of my nephew's senior class today. My wife dropped me off at the Civic Center BART station. She did not attend the day's activities. About half of the way down I tripped and fell for the remainder of the escalator ride. It's amazing that I escaped with so few injuries. Unfortunately the fall had torn a hole in a brand new pair of cargo pants that my wife had ironed especially for this occasion. There are also blood stains near the tear where the wounds had bled through the fabric. I was shaken by the experience but regained my composure enough to continue my trip to Alameda. Their house guest joined by my sister-in-law picked me up at BART. I told her what had happened in the BART station. They were both appalled. When we arrived at my brother's house I meekly asked for some needle and thread to at least sew up the rip in my pants. They would have none of that. First of all my sister-in-law examined my wounds and ...

It's early and I am about to start my day. So far life has been pretty mellow compared to the hell I have endured over the past month or so. My wife and I seem to have settled into a comfortable life together. She has started attending therapy at Kaiser and in general recognized the fact that she needs therapy. This is a huge step forward for her and bodes well for our relationship. On the other hand, Hepatitis C continues to overshadow our life. My wife found out that her viral count is one million. She has genome type 1B which is less dangerous than 1A which is what I have. Nevertheless, she needs to go on the therapy to cure or at least get it under control. She's understandably worried about it, as am I, and is making plans for how she will deal with her life while she is in treatment. This problem is further complicated by the fact that I need to go back on the therapy this autumn. My viral count is slowly rising. It was around 1000 when I stopped the treatment in Ma...