It's been a while it seems since I wrote in my diary.
It's Sunday and I was supposed to go to the North Beach festival with my brother. But he over-slept and calling me at around two apologized and said he would only go to the fair if I wanted to. I told him I was babysitting my wife emotionally and could not go out. That was fine with him. There will be other fairs in the city.
I went over to see my wife who is, once again, staying with her mother. Whenever there's a problem she just takes off. I don't even remember what this was all about. I think it was the standard theme of ,"You don't take care of me like I do you." She has had problems with her equilibrium and I guess I wasn't attentive enough or forgot something or whiter-the-fuck-it-was and so off she went. No, wait a minute.
She had asked me earlier if I could help her with her shower. I must have forgotten this when she called me the first time. When she asked me, some days ago it now seems, I thought she had meant sometime in the future. Well, I was mistaken. I guess she had mentioned it earlier, too, but I thought it was solely for the purpose of hosing her down while she sat ion the stool in her mother's tub. My befuddled memory of this and the misunderstanding led to a veritable shit storm.
I just got off of the phone with her after having texted several angry messages for over an hour. The telephone conversation was chock full of misunderstanding and resentment from her. I was, in my opinion, very patient although I did get a little heated when she interrupted me to complete my thought (erroneously) or to say what she wanted to say. This is so trying for me.
She wants to redefine our relationship so that we do all the things we do together except care for one another. This is patently absurd. We are to be like good friends who love one another, share the same abode, maybe even do things together, love one another and on and on and on. The only difference is that we won't care for each other in matters like health and (I guess) appearance and some other undefinable things. This is madness. It is neurotic. But then so is she.
* * * * * * * * * *
I have helped her back into our apartment just now. She is giving me the cold shoulder. We are making stilted meaningless conversation. I really wished she had stayed away for a few more days. But she called after the initial raging madness called and said that she wanted to come home. I came over to her mother's apartment to help her collect her stuff and then it was off we went. I couldn't resist a little dig by asking her if she wanted to take her shower now. She gave me an evil glare and said ,"No." She is making (or has made, I don't know for sure) her dinner that she can eat with her almost toothless mouth.
She just tried to reach her mother by telephone but failed. It just rang and rang, I guess. I offered to go check on her mother but she said it wasn't necessary, she would go. She came back rather quickly and out of breath. I asked her what was wrong and she waved me off with a curt dismissal. I asked if I could go over and check on her mother's telephone but she said no.
She through herself into the living room chair, breathless after what have been a very short walk indeed and with great drama took out her breathalizer and heaved while she took several puffs from it. She then left to go into the bedroom.
I went in and asked again if she wanted me to go and check on her mother's telephone but she said no. I asked her if she was alright. She replied that this is what, "Not caring for one another is all about." I left the bedroom, hiding my disgust, and am now writing in this diary.
This hell never seems to end. Her current plan is to have her daughter go over to Freedom West, the management of the hosting complex in which we live, and request a two-bedroom ground floor apartment for her mother and herself. Her plan is to move into this apartment permanently and leave this home she and I have built together. I wonder if she will go through with it? I wonder if her daughter will go through with this? Or is it simply one of her many dramas she acts out for what seems like every day.
I've got to stop writing for now.
It's Sunday and I was supposed to go to the North Beach festival with my brother. But he over-slept and calling me at around two apologized and said he would only go to the fair if I wanted to. I told him I was babysitting my wife emotionally and could not go out. That was fine with him. There will be other fairs in the city.
I went over to see my wife who is, once again, staying with her mother. Whenever there's a problem she just takes off. I don't even remember what this was all about. I think it was the standard theme of ,"You don't take care of me like I do you." She has had problems with her equilibrium and I guess I wasn't attentive enough or forgot something or whiter-the-fuck-it-was and so off she went. No, wait a minute.
She had asked me earlier if I could help her with her shower. I must have forgotten this when she called me the first time. When she asked me, some days ago it now seems, I thought she had meant sometime in the future. Well, I was mistaken. I guess she had mentioned it earlier, too, but I thought it was solely for the purpose of hosing her down while she sat ion the stool in her mother's tub. My befuddled memory of this and the misunderstanding led to a veritable shit storm.
I just got off of the phone with her after having texted several angry messages for over an hour. The telephone conversation was chock full of misunderstanding and resentment from her. I was, in my opinion, very patient although I did get a little heated when she interrupted me to complete my thought (erroneously) or to say what she wanted to say. This is so trying for me.
She wants to redefine our relationship so that we do all the things we do together except care for one another. This is patently absurd. We are to be like good friends who love one another, share the same abode, maybe even do things together, love one another and on and on and on. The only difference is that we won't care for each other in matters like health and (I guess) appearance and some other undefinable things. This is madness. It is neurotic. But then so is she.
* * * * * * * * * *
I have helped her back into our apartment just now. She is giving me the cold shoulder. We are making stilted meaningless conversation. I really wished she had stayed away for a few more days. But she called after the initial raging madness called and said that she wanted to come home. I came over to her mother's apartment to help her collect her stuff and then it was off we went. I couldn't resist a little dig by asking her if she wanted to take her shower now. She gave me an evil glare and said ,"No." She is making (or has made, I don't know for sure) her dinner that she can eat with her almost toothless mouth.
She just tried to reach her mother by telephone but failed. It just rang and rang, I guess. I offered to go check on her mother but she said it wasn't necessary, she would go. She came back rather quickly and out of breath. I asked her what was wrong and she waved me off with a curt dismissal. I asked if I could go over and check on her mother's telephone but she said no.
She through herself into the living room chair, breathless after what have been a very short walk indeed and with great drama took out her breathalizer and heaved while she took several puffs from it. She then left to go into the bedroom.
I went in and asked again if she wanted me to go and check on her mother's telephone but she said no. I asked her if she was alright. She replied that this is what, "Not caring for one another is all about." I left the bedroom, hiding my disgust, and am now writing in this diary.
This hell never seems to end. Her current plan is to have her daughter go over to Freedom West, the management of the hosting complex in which we live, and request a two-bedroom ground floor apartment for her mother and herself. Her plan is to move into this apartment permanently and leave this home she and I have built together. I wonder if she will go through with it? I wonder if her daughter will go through with this? Or is it simply one of her many dramas she acts out for what seems like every day.
I've got to stop writing for now.
So much hate. How can you have a relationship with this woman?
ReplyDeleteTell me, When did you fall out of love with her?