Dreams and Things

I am in my apartment which I do not recognize. It looks vaguely like a condominium Janis and I had considered buying at one time. It is dark outside. My brother is there and says that he wants to go to Dolores park to talk to people. So Eva and I decide to walk to Dolores park to let our dog run. I can't see the dog. I am a bit apprehensive about all of this. Eva and I have a teeny spat along the way. Eva insists that we should have driven but I insist that the park is within walking distance. We go on a bit until we reach Church street when I point out that we are already there. My brother is there in a long sleeved shirt and his jockey briefs underwear. His garb seems to alter between this and him wearing a loose pair of pants. There are people at the park. A small group at the dog run area and a larger group at the entrance near the 18th street stairs. The lights seem to alternately go on and off. This worries me. But I remind myself t...

A taxicab ride in San Francisco is fast and furious. Rolling stops at intersections and then     your head-banging backwards when the cab accelerates onward. Heart-stopping while speeding through yellow lights. Eyes glued to the road ahead in dread.  But it gets you there and fast. Tip as you see fit. I always put on my seat belt     if there's one in the back and it isn't broken. Yaffa never fastens hers. Unfathomable. After all, what will happen to her     when the taxicab inevitably crashes     spinning out of control as we tumble past Alamo square? Taxicab drivers are usually quiet     but sometimes chatty     about the weather, sports and sometimes politics. I always agree with the driver. I don't want uncomfortable differences     to divert his attention from the road. I took a taxicab from downtown to my home in the Castro. For forty years this ...

I am at at a riverside lodge. It is an old  rustic place constructed of logs and old and musty slats of redwood nestled among giant redwood trees. It has an air of familiarity - many guests have stayed there during the late summer months. But now it is late spring. The air is comfortably warm and the staff have time to pursue their hobbies and, occasionally, trysts. My job is unclear but that does not matter to me. I am instead fascinated by the wide calm river that runs next to the resort. The river is separated from the resort by banks of stone. The stones are jagged but with round edges. A person can comfortably scramble among them without fear of injury unless they decide to jump -the rock ledges are steep. I have a route through them which leads to my own secret place beside the river. The river is dark brown/green. It s not possible to see inside it. The river is calm with a very very slight current flowing to ...

I continue to be infatuated by Janis, my third and latest wife who I divorced in 2005. It was a messy and hateful separation. I am now in a loving relationship with Eva  with whom I am engaged. I don't even know anymore where these bizarre dreams come from and why they continue. I am with Janis in a room at my sister-in-law's house at night. We are in (I think) the guest room but it might be another. We make passionate love like always but Janis doesn't want to watch porn, an oddity because she always did like it. Our lovemaking is the sort of insane crazy that I haven't yet experienced since we broke up. We are in the kitchen. My sister-in-law's bar is open (rather than closed) in a way that allows people to sit at it. My landlord Martin, and his wife show up, the people I work with. The actual apartment's owner (Aaron) comes in behind them. We exchange greetings and there are hugs all around. They embrace Janis, too, although they know we are divorced. ...

There's not a lot to this dream but it was very vivid. I have been  captured but by who I cannot remember. I am too young to remember such things. I am perhaps nine or ten. I am standing in a cage mad of rounded wood bars (possibly bamboo) spaced apart from one another by about six inches. The bars are held in place by leather thongs impervious to removal.  I know that there are other boys waiting to be auctioned but I cannot see them. I hear the bustle of the market place around me. The dust of the ground arises from the tramp of human and camel feet. I am waiting the market to be sold. This doesn't sadden me. It only piques my cursorily. I know that yjr person who buys me will be kind and generous. The slave market must be somewhere in the middle. I will be traveling  to Rome along with the other boys. A free boy slightly older than me approaches me with a peach in his...

I woke up at 2:30AM dreaming the following: I am reading  The Third Reich . I am suddenly aware that this book is on the "Forbidden List." This happens at a nice and sumptuous Thanksgiving. I recall how dangerous reading this book and how anyone even suspected of reading it will be taken by the Gestapo. I am now at a booth waiting in line. It is the line of people that the Gestapo will interrogate. The surroundings are cold concrete or perhaps dank wood painted grey. The line moves forward very slowly and everybody in it is afraid. When it's my turn at the window I am the led away summarily by the SS into a waiting room where others wait. It becomes my turn and I follow the SS officer to the execution room.  There are two slabs of concrete. On one lies a man on his side pointed away from me. He is getting a lethal injection. It is taking a long time and he chats in a low voice with his executioner. I can...

I remember having this intense dream earlier in the month. I thought I would share it here. To protect both the innocent and the guilty I have changed the names in it. Janis is my previous wife and Eva is my current fianceé. I am in a house and it is dark except for the room where I am which is dimly lit. I think Janis is in one of the other rooms. I have trouble lighting a cigarette because the callous on my right thumb is so thick and painful from having used lighters for so long. I am doing something, perhaps building or refurbishing the room. There is a droning in my left ear.  [I later later learn after waking that this is from Eva snoring in my ear.]  The drone is persistent throughout the dream. I feel inadequate but for what I don't know.  I think I move into the living room. I have another girlfriend who is not there at the moment. Janis comes to visit. She greets me with haughtiness. She wants to make amends but I sense it is for her own fee...