Dreams and Things

I am at at a riverside lodge. It is an old  rustic place constructed of logs and old and musty slats of redwood nestled among giant redwood trees. It has an air of familiarity - many guests have stayed there during the late summer months. But now it is late spring. The air is comfortably warm and the staff have time to pursue their hobbies and, occasionally, trysts. My job is unclear but that does not matter to me. I am instead fascinated by the wide calm river that runs next to the resort. The river is separated from the resort by banks of stone. The stones are jagged but with round edges. A person can comfortably scramble among them without fear of injury unless they decide to jump -the rock ledges are steep. I have a route through them which leads to my own secret place beside the river. The river is dark brown/green. It s not possible to see inside it. The river is calm with a very very slight current flowing to ...

I continue to be infatuated by Janis, my third and latest wife who I divorced in 2005. It was a messy and hateful separation. I am now in a loving relationship with Eva  with whom I am engaged. I don't even know anymore where these bizarre dreams come from and why they continue. I am with Janis in a room at my sister-in-law's house at night. We are in (I think) the guest room but it might be another. We make passionate love like always but Janis doesn't want to watch porn, an oddity because she always did like it. Our lovemaking is the sort of insane crazy that I haven't yet experienced since we broke up. We are in the kitchen. My sister-in-law's bar is open (rather than closed) in a way that allows people to sit at it. My landlord Martin, and his wife show up, the people I work with. The actual apartment's owner (Aaron) comes in behind them. We exchange greetings and there are hugs all around. They embrace Janis, too, although they know we are divorced. ...

There's not a lot to this dream but it was very vivid. I have been  captured but by who I cannot remember. I am too young to remember such things. I am perhaps nine or ten. I am standing in a cage mad of rounded wood bars (possibly bamboo) spaced apart from one another by about six inches. The bars are held in place by leather thongs impervious to removal.  I know that there are other boys waiting to be auctioned but I cannot see them. I hear the bustle of the market place around me. The dust of the ground arises from the tramp of human and camel feet. I am waiting the market to be sold. This doesn't sadden me. It only piques my cursorily. I know that yjr person who buys me will be kind and generous. The slave market must be somewhere in the middle. I will be traveling  to Rome along with the other boys. A free boy slightly older than me approaches me with a peach in his...

I woke up at 2:30AM dreaming the following: I am reading  The Third Reich . I am suddenly aware that this book is on the "Forbidden List." This happens at a nice and sumptuous Thanksgiving. I recall how dangerous reading this book and how anyone even suspected of reading it will be taken by the Gestapo. I am now at a booth waiting in line. It is the line of people that the Gestapo will interrogate. The surroundings are cold concrete or perhaps dank wood painted grey. The line moves forward very slowly and everybody in it is afraid. When it's my turn at the window I am the led away summarily by the SS into a waiting room where others wait. It becomes my turn and I follow the SS officer to the execution room.  There are two slabs of concrete. On one lies a man on his side pointed away from me. He is getting a lethal injection. It is taking a long time and he chats in a low voice with his executioner. I can...

I remember having this intense dream earlier in the month. I thought I would share it here. To protect both the innocent and the guilty I have changed the names in it. Janis is my previous wife and Eva is my current fianceé. I am in a house and it is dark except for the room where I am which is dimly lit. I think Janis is in one of the other rooms. I have trouble lighting a cigarette because the callous on my right thumb is so thick and painful from having used lighters for so long. I am doing something, perhaps building or refurbishing the room. There is a droning in my left ear.  [I later later learn after waking that this is from Eva snoring in my ear.]  The drone is persistent throughout the dream. I feel inadequate but for what I don't know.  I think I move into the living room. I have another girlfriend who is not there at the moment. Janis comes to visit. She greets me with haughtiness. She wants to make amends but I sense it is for her own fee...

Moving to San Francisco I have lived (mostly) in San Francisco since 1980. I remember clearly the circumstances that made me move. I was working a swing shift at IBM at the time. On my way home at around 9:00AM it was still dark and sleeting (an unsavory combination of snow and ice.) My sad little VW hatchback lost control at the racing speed of 5 MPH on a single lane bridge over Antarctica-like cold water. The car went into a full spin around the road until I reached the other side of the bridge. It was exactly at that time I said to myself, "I'm moving to California." I made preparations. I filled my hatchback with my few precious possessions, camping gear and my meager savings and headed west with my girlfriend. Our destination was San Francisco where  a friend of a friend of her's knew somebody we could stay with. She got his phone number. We traveled across the country on I-80, camping along the way in my pup tent or the back of the hatchback depending on the ...