Dreams and Things

I broke up with my wife two weeks ago. I don't know why I haven't written about this earlier. I guess the turmoil surrounding her exit from my life has befuddled me. I really should have written about this sooner. Anyway, enough self-bashing. I don't quite know why I did it. Today is Tuesday and two weeks ago on Monday I just suddenly decided to tell her that I wanted an end to our marriage. I was sitting on the bed thinking about the pros and cons of our life together. I have known for some time that I don't want to live with her. I guess I never had the nerve to tell her. I know I didn't have the nerve, actually. It's difficult telling someone that you want to break up a relationship. It is something I have never wanted or had to do in my life. I broke with my second wife amicably with both of us understanding that we wanted to go different ways in life. The break-up with my first and third wives was incredibly hateful. The third break-up was so bad I en...

I'm a little drunk as I write this. But sitting in the living room listening music alone I am aching for female companionship, I can't stand it. I barbecued tonight and we ate as usual at the dinner table. Also as usual, she left as I was cleaning up to go into the bedroom to read her emal and then off to bed to watch TV. And so here I am enjoying the music but alone. I just can't stand it. I wish to heaven's sake I had someone to share this with. We have a beautiful living room with an excellent stereo and I am alone in it. Why oh why can't I have the company I want? Why can't I have someone who doesn't rush off after dinner but lingers a little bit to engage in albeit trivial table talk? Why do I find myself alone again as so often? I am tempted to post ads on Matchup.com and other dating sites to look for a companion. She doesn't even need to be a sexual partner or even want a relationship other friendship. I feel this so strongly. I wonder if I...

I'm working with my old friends from high school trying to build a transport for a variety of animals. There a lot of logistics involved and we're measuring carefully as we design the beds in which they will be moved and ultimately sleep. The spaces increase in size to meet the requirements of the animals. The larger below for horses and slowly increasing in size to make room for animals like rabbits and squirrels. A lot of work is going into building the frame and to ensure that its cushions for the smaller animals above are correctly designed, I am at the family house of my third snf former wife who was from Sweden, The house has many rooms and my friends and are flabergasted that the frame we so carefully designed does not fit in the space for which it was designed. We fumble for solutions until I suggest that we remove the cushions for the horses below and lower the frame to that height because horses sleep standing up, anyway. We think of other ideas,too, and eventually ...