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HCV Treatment Week 19

The treatment has ended.


I am unable to tolerate the side effects of it. The anemia it causes is so severe that my life is at risk if I continue. The treatment affects my red blood cell count. Blood tests have shown throughout that this cell count has steadily decreased. I have had several blood transfusions during the treatment to address this problem and for a while they have worked. We tried treating it with Procrit and for a while that seemed to work, too. But despite an increase in Procrit my count continued to decrease. It reached a point where I needed an emergency blood transfusion because a lab result came back with my red blood cell count flagged as "critical." After this my heptologist decided to stop the treatment.


I am extremely disappointed. Despite the devastating side effects of the Hepatitis C therapy I have wanted to push on. After all, I want to ensure that this disease is removed from my body no matter what the cost. We spoke with my doctor and tried to convince him of our plan. That was to stop the treatment until my red blood cell count returned to normal and then pick it up again. But he was adament that this was not an option. Picking it up again would be like starting over and still running into this problem. My wife and I were extremely disappointed.


The good news is that my viral count is undetectable. Further blood tests in the upcoming months will determine if it stays that way. It could actually mean that I am cured. I am cautiously optimistic about this. In the past it has also dropped to this level only to raise and pose a threat again. Living a healthy life style (no drinking of alcohol) and eating right (I should quit smoking, too) might make my affliction manageable. Or at least slow its progression until a less destructive therapy comes along.


So here I am. I am still suffering from other side effects of the treatment. I only stopped it about a week ago. I expect to continue to be sick for at least a month until the side effects completely cease to affect me. I have some weird problem with a rash-like irritation on my shins. I am a little cranky. I am tired almost all of the time. I have lost the strength I had gained from going to gym. All this continues to disappoint me as it did during the treatment. I can hardly wait for my health to return to normal.


I feel strange about losing my role as a patient. I have become accustomed to being weak and needy for my wife's care. In a strange way I want that to continue. I don't understand this phenomenon. I guess I liked having a health problem. I liked having people feel sorry for me and doting on me. I now have to return to normal and shed this attention. Am I selfish? Am I emotionally weak? I don't know. I pause to reflect on this as I take a sip of my lukewarm coffee. I need to work this out with my psychologist. 


Sigh.

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