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Miscellaneous

It's 7:30 in the morning on Friday and I've decided to write in my diary after a small hiatus.


I decided about a week ago to let go of my anger and my pain. I could no longer remember what happened that horrible night four weeks ago that caused me so much distress. I was sitting around stoned and listening to music when this thought came to me. I went in to her sitting the bedroom watching TV. I expressed my love for her and a wish that she never doubt it. After this she came out of her depression and now all is back to normal.


The Hepatitis treatment is still looming on the horizon. We went to my Hepatitis doctor as an initial preparation. His assistant is now working with my insurance company to obtain authorization for the drugs I will need. The company wants recent blood work to prove that my genotype is indeed 1A. It is, of course. This is probably a delaying tactic because the medicine is pretty expensive, I guess. My doctor ordered another blood draw. He also wanted an ultrasound of my abdomen. So I was at CPMC yesterday taking care of these things.


I sent out an email yesterday afternoon to my brother, his wife and her daughter notifying them of the upcoming treatment for Hepatitis and what that will do to me physically and mentally. I explained that there is no other option for tackling this disease. Not undergoing this treatment will probably result in my death. I told them this, too. It was probably a bit over the top but I want everyone on board before the ordeal begins.


I went to my art class for beginning drawing last night. This was a bit of a challenge for me. I had to get going at 6:00PM and take the bus to Root Division where the class is held. I had to steel myself to sit down with several strangers, mostly women, in a claustrophobic small room. I managed to do this albeit leaving early when my endurance began to wear off.


I was very demoralized by the experience. I despair of ever learning to draw realistically. My drawings of a still life in the middle of the table we all sat around were childish. I came home upset and full of negativity about my art in general. I feel like I will never get to the point at which I can show my art without embarrassment. The long and painful ordeal of getting out and trying to find places to hang my art looms before me.


I'm seeing my doctor later this morning to get authorization for a brain MRI. I need this to send to my attorney who will use it to make my case for continued disability payments from my blood-sucking insurance company. I can't believe that they refuse to continue my payments. They claim that bipolar disorder is a "nervous condition" and not subject to more than two years of payments. My attorney will make the case that I have a brain abnormality which, as a physical condition, entitles me to continued payments. I hope like hell this will all work out. 


Not much else to write about now.

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