My diagnosis, which I would not get until I turned 53, is Bipolar Type I with Psychotic Features . This is a convenient little pigeon-hole for doctors to use to classify people like me. I don't like it. I consider myself to be manic/depressive and to also be psychotic , two distinctly different mental disorders. Bipolar means two different “poles” of behavior, one manic and the other depressive. But it does not capture the essence of the transition between these states, which sometimes overlap. Psychoanalysts don’t usually see this disorder in children younger than fifteen. In my case I believe my disorder manifested itself when I was ten. One “pole” of bipolar behavior in me is mania during which I have long periods of hyper-activity and impulsiveness and heightened sexuality. I feel animated, capable of accomplishing anything, driven to the exclusion of everything else to do whatever is in the moment, whether at work or in social settings or in bed. I excel at work and in...
Dreams, Experiences, Poetry, etc., by Austin Shelton. This is my diary and gets a little rough at times. It has a lot of private musings but because these reflect my mind and experiences they are included nevertheless.